Back in May of 2017, I rushed my mother to the hospital. She was vomiting even after having just water, extremely lethargic, and complained of pressure on her chest. Within 20 mins of filling out ER forms she was rushed into emergency heart surgery She was in active cardiac arrest. She had almost 100% blockage in the rear valve causing them to put in 3 stents. Between May & July, she was in and out of the hospital for various issues including fluid in her lungs, asthma resurfacing, heart beating too fast her body didn’t know what to do. I would like to say before I go any further she is doing amazingly well, so much so she has gone back to work albeit a lesser stressful position.

It all happened so fast. It was back to back, stuff. I never actually had time to process it all till around late August. Which is were I lost it. I mean totally lost it. I cried every day for about 2 weeks straight. I mean collapse in the shower screaming like a hungry baby crying. I was a wreck. I was scared of myself. I had never had such a rush of emotions hitting me with such forces, 24/7. I am still working through it, but I want to share with you my tips that helped me find some level of calm.


  1. Knowledge Understand 100% of what is going on or happened Seriously. Make them ALL explain it to you in a manner in which you understand. Read everything they give you. No matter how scary some of it may sound and how disturbing the possible outcomes can be, having knowledge helps prevent your mind from going bat shit crazy.
  2. Team. Have a support team from all different directions. I am not that close with my family but I will admit me having to constantly report to them what was going on, created a routine that I needed at that time. The most important part of my support team was my best friend. I could just cry and not say a word and she was there. She didn’t try to drown me in motivational quotes or advice, she just let me breath. Breathing to me was just crying. I had to stay calm to make sure my son didn’t getting too worried, and I also couldn’t add to my mother’s stress having to worry about me. My boyfriend at the time was also a big help even though he became a bit of a punching bag for awhile. However his humor lightened the mood sometimes and it was more helpful than I realized at the time.
  3. Food. This might sound stupid but meal prep was a help. For days I didn’t want to cook, being able to just toss something in the microwave to reheat was great. So get some meal prep or freezer cooking done before the break down so it’s there. If a friend or family member has offered this, TAKE THEM UP ON IT.
  4. Quiet. I rarely turned on the TV or radio. I sat in silence a lot. I would go on line from time to time but still. Always silent. When something like this happens there is a lot of commotion coming at you from all kinds of directions and I don’t just mean all the stuff hooked up to your loved one in the hospital. Having time to just be in silence is amazing. If your quiet time is meditation, try to increase it. Really embrace the quiet.
  5. Routine. I felt like a chicken with it’s head cut off for awhile there until I forced myself o get back into my routines. 7Am-Coffee, News. Sunday-Laundry Day. Friday-Wash Dog. Etc, etc, etc. I felt like I had some part of my life that I was truly in control of while keeping to my routine. I also felt like everything is going to be okay because look I’m doing laundry on Sunday. This is normal. Everything is normal. Life is not spinning out of control. It’s a trick, I know, but it does help bring some calm. It helped. I really did.

I hope you don’t have to experience something like this because it truly is a whirlwind of wtf’s but perhaps this simple tips can help if you are put in a similar position.

Have you gone through a health scare yourself or with a family member? What worked for you? Please share in the comments and perhaps they will resonate with someone else.

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